Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
