Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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