Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
