And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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