The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
