everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
