yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
