the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
