so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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