$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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