I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
