instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
