tell your sister to shave her snatch
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
