I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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