Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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