i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
