Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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