If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
