If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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