i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize