your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
