I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
