Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
