guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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