I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
