Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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