I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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