she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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