When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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