Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
