I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
sick fucks of a feather flock together
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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