she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
