HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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