this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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