i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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