You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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