chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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