Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
