I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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