you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Terrible idea I love it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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