sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
