one word: firstdatebathroomanal
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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