Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize