Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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