Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was your Memorial Day?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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  (717): How was your Memorial Day? (1-717): Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name. http://tfl.nu/grou
  Replies (10) Good night (3822) Bad night (732)
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  (310): View more from California

  ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

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  (310): ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude. http://tfl.nu/5a88
  Replies (175) Good night (6978) Bad night (80685)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so how does one go about finding a summer fling?

  (214): View more from Texas

  take advantage of an intern

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  (314): so how does one go about finding a summer fling? (214): take advantage of an intern http://tfl.nu/k22l
  Replies (18) Good night (2762) Bad night (541)
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  (631): View more from New York

  conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.

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  (631): conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers. http://tfl.nu/22w1
  Replies (40) Good night (895) Bad night (2698)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.

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  (309): And whoever invented the condom should be put to death. http://tfl.nu/pkgn
  Replies (81) Good night (1296) Bad night (10167)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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  (610): his penis was the training wheels of my sex life http://tfl.nu/y4t8
  Replies (16) Good night (4740) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.

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  (708): I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off. http://tfl.nu/ln09
  Replies (8) Good night (3165) Bad night (1631)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.

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  (612): drunk taco night MLK would want it this way. http://tfl.nu/ye78
  Replies (9) Good night (2751) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.

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  (302): He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was. http://tfl.nu/ureg
  Replies (6) Good night (1309) Bad night (2558)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.

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  (425): I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/1sxi
  Replies (13) Good night (3665) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky

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  (617): Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky http://tfl.nu/3bkx
  Replies (5) Good night (829) Bad night (1421)
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  (310): View more from California

  My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.

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  (310): My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick. http://tfl.nu/xvdr
  Replies (10) Good night (1870) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off

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  (701): New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off http://tfl.nu/w6xr
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.

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  (315): My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off. http://tfl.nu/m48w
  Replies (7) Good night (2629) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that

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  (830): I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that http://tfl.nu/26i3
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (237)

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