I think I am morally bankrupt
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
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He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
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I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho