You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?