Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
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True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies