Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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