Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.

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  (847): the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker. http://tfl.nu/4drl
  Replies (13) Good night (2085) Bad night (846)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I hate all girls vehemently.

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  (516): I hate all girls vehemently. http://tfl.nu/rhf8
  Replies (2) Good night (995) Bad night (1160)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Betty ford says i'm here all night

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  (215): Betty ford says i'm here all night http://tfl.nu/rxoa
  Replies (2) Good night (924) Bad night (555)
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  (925): View more from California

  i just saw a foot job.

  (925): View more from California

  porn is incredible...

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  (925): i just saw a foot job. (925): porn is incredible... http://tfl.nu/di0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1606) Bad night (1040)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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  (802): i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin http://tfl.nu/0a0z
  Replies (14) Good night (1047) Bad night (2230)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.

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  (303): Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina. http://tfl.nu/raau
  Replies (31) Good night (3988) Bad night (968)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.

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  (404): I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner. http://tfl.nu/q9zc
  Replies (2) Good night (2844) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.

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  (913): Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it. http://tfl.nu/o6yg
  Replies (16) Good night (3508) Bad night (1107)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.

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  (215): her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying. http://tfl.nu/86vj
  Replies (24) Good night (1137) Bad night (6209)
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  (925): View more from California

  These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.

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  (925): These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/wa4w
  Replies (6) Good night (4906) Bad night (1016)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?

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  (260): Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement? http://tfl.nu/iy8f
  Replies (8) Good night (1124) Bad night (2830)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

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  (504): if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell http://tfl.nu/719j
  Replies (3) Good night (1629) Bad night (783)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will

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  (205): I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will http://tfl.nu/rm9j
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick

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  (315): He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick http://tfl.nu/ogpi
  Replies (5) Good night (381) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.

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  (504): She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her. http://tfl.nu/fje7
  Replies (2) Good night (1046) Bad night (167)

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