when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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