the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
