its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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