At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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