I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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