I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
