a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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