whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
