Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize