I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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