Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
