I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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